Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
