i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
