I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
