my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
