she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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