it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
