To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
