I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
