You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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