when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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