Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
