I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
