the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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