I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
