so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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