Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
