Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
