if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Acid is not a monday night drug
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
