talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I would ride that face into the sunset
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