I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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