Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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