On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
