i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
