do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
