i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
