So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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