I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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