I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
