this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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