mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
