Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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