carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
