Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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