After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
