he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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