New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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