Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize