I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
