whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
