i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
