Do you still have your period?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
