it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
