clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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