spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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