its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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