I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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