One girl and one boy is just not enough.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
