never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
if only i could text you this smell
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
