You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
