im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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