Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
