What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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