thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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