i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
