i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
