I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
