I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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