Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
