My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
