I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
