where does the pee come out of this thing
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize