And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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