I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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